When Children Look Normal

I have shared many times about our two children with autism. It has been a struggle dealing with all of the things that go along with autism.

But that is not what I am talking about here.

What you may not know is that our three youngest children were born addicted to crack. Their birth mother smoked crack most of the three pregnancies. While I am thankful to her that she did not abort her pregnancies, there are some lasting implications.

At this time we are mainly seeing the effects in the oldest of the three. What does this look like? It started with some learning disabilities. It then moved on into ADHD. Now it is severe lack of impulse control, extreme bursts of anger and episodes where he barely knows what he has done.

I thought autism was difficult but in many ways, dealing with the effects of a drug pregnancy is harder. Perhaps it is just different. Both are heart-breaking.

If you saw our son acting out, you would think either he was a bad kid or he had bad parents. He looks normal and can act normal before an episode. I know that he regrets what he has done. I know that we do our best to parent him. We are getting the help he needs.

I tell you all this to remind you that what you see is not alway the full story. Don’t judge the child. Don’t judge the parents. You have no idea what is going on. Anything could be going on in that child’s brain. Anything could be going on in that family.

Save the judgment and say a prayer.

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