Family Ties

I am angry and I will tell you why.

FamilyLet me give you the back story first. Our two oldest children (14 and 12) both have severe autism. Both of them also live in groups homes, although separate ones. That is about to change.

The agency that oversees them arranged for both our son and daughter to move to the same group home, a newly renovated home for children their age. It was some of the best news we could ever get.

This also means a lot of paperwork, including coordination with the group homes that they currently live in. We visited our son’s home and everything went smoothly. They worked to make sure the new group home had what they needed. When the supervisor heard that our son would finally be living with his sister after almost four years, she seemed visibly moved. It was obvious that she was very happy for our family.

The same is not true for our daughter’s group home.

When they heard about the move, they expressed some concerns. That is fine. They told those involved that they were not sure how our daughter would do with the transition. Their concerns were heard but it was decided to continue with the move.

They then started collecting names of people who disagreed with the move. When that didn’t work, they went higher. At this moment, this group home is fighting as hard as they can to stop our daughter from moving in with her brother.

FamilyLet me make some things clear. We are her parents. We are her guardians. We have custody. We did not give up any rights when our daughter went into the group home.

But this group home is ignoring our wishes and often avoiding communicating with us in their attempts to stop what is best for our family.

Their job is not to decide the future for our daughter. Their job is to make this transition go as smoothly as possible. They are actually making it worse for our daughter. She will pick up on this tension.

This is why I am angry. I have no problem with them having concerns. But voice the concerns and get on with your job.

This is not about a bed in a group home, it is about a sister and a brother who have a special bond and deserve to live happily together.

UPDATE: Everything worked out fine and our children are together in their new group home. They are both thriving there.

If you are interested learning more about autism, please visit my autism blog.

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8 thoughts on “Family Ties”

  1. Oh my gosh. How stressful. Why are two of your children in group homes in the first place I wonder?? What are your suspicions?

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