5 Reasons Why Halloween is of the Devil

Everybody knows that Halloween is of the devil. But in case this fact has slipped by you, here are five reasons why Halloween is of the devil. I’m embarrassed that I even have to mention them.

  1. HalloweenThe Bible clearly teaches that Halloween is of the devil. I haven’t found the passage yet, but I’m sure it’s in there somewhere.
  2. Little boys and girls dressed up like superheroes and princesses is obviously satanic. It just drips with evil and makes my skin crawl.
  3. Parents make their children eat candy and chocolate bars against their will. Borderline abuse.
  4. Everyone who participates in Halloween are doing it for the express purpose of participating in occult practices and not for any joy they experience.
  5. God certainly does not want us to have fun. We should be spending our time wearing sackcloth (but not as a costume) and throwing ashes on our head.

I hope that makes things clear for you in case you are thinking of participating in Halloween. And remember, if children come to your door, instead of giving candy you should give Chick tracts. Children love them!


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4 thoughts on “5 Reasons Why Halloween is of the Devil”

  1. Glad you clarified the tracts. For a moment I thought you were going to suggest handing out NIV Bible portions, but the KJV is the only translation that has the divine stamp of approval. Any other translation just proves you are part of the global government conspiracy.

  2. Maybe we should hand out NIV Study Bibles. You know the heavy ones that many struggle to carry. That way the kids will empty their sacks of all the sugary candy and just chew on the word. LOL

  3. I remember those Chick tracts that were talking about Catholic hordes at the southern border of the US…. maybe some politicians read them?

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