An Honest Confession of Where I Struggle in My Faith

You may think that because I am a pastor and that I have numerous theological degrees that I should never struggle with my faith. That’s not true. Every Christian struggles at some point or other. But my struggles may not be what you think.

I spend a lot of time interacting online with atheists, agnostics, people of other religions or sects and skeptics of many different stripes. I have heard so many attacks and criticisms on Christianity over the years. But none of them have had a negative effect on me.

My struggle is not with skeptics but with people who identify as Christians.

While I think social media in general is a good thing, some of the posts I read by Christians make me shudder. This is on numerous levels. Sometimes it is because people are sharing fake news because it suits their side of the culture war. Sometimes it is people who talk about Christianity without a hint of love or compassion. Sometimes it is because Christians reject the importance of helping the poor even though it was Jesus’ priority.

The scary thing is that it is not just one kind of Christian that discourages me. They may be liberal or conservative, progressive or fundamentalist. Often their strategy is the same and only the details are changed.

I will admit that I hear statements and see actions by Christians and I ask myself, “What do I belong to?” These are the moments that the whisper of doubt gets louder.

Thankfully, I understand that Christianity is true based on who Jesus and not how Christians act. That is what keeps me going.

I am also thankful that as I was making my transition from atheism that I didn’t have access to such a wide variety of Christian attitudes.

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4 thoughts on “An Honest Confession of Where I Struggle in My Faith”

    1. I did not move from atheist to Christian. It was atheist to about a three year stint as a generic theist. In terms of coming to accept Jesus as God, I would say it was reading the New Testament.

  1. Have you ever read the first part of the New Testament, the Gospels, in parallel? I would encourage you to do that and then read Roman Catholic scholar Raymond Brown’s “The Death of the Messiah”. I think you will be surprised.

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