Being a Dad
So it is good news time again. Good news. That means I am supposed to share some good news. Even though it has been a rough, rough week.
Let me share what I have been thinking and then tie it into good news.
I am a dad. I have become a dad five times, two biologically and three by adoption. Each time, the start is so filled with hopes and dreams. I looked at those little babies and saw a wide open future for each one of them. The sky was the limit.
However, life has a way of narrowing that future, of lowing that sky. Whether it is autism, ADHD, other developmental issues or whatever. Sometimes it is financial constraints. Sometimes it is the limits of the parents.
After many years of study and research I have concluded that being a dad is really, really hard. There is no operator’s manual and the lessons learned from once child are often incompatible with the next child. I need to co-ordinate with my wife while I am consistent with each child and yet respectful of their individual personalities and needs.
I can’t say that I feel like a success. I do my best. I know my wife and kids love me but I also know that there is so much more that I should be doing. I need to be better at both disciplining and having fun with the family. I need to be better at balancing work and family. I need to be better at caring for myself so that I can care for others. I am not where I should be at.
Well, this does not sound very much like a good news post. Don’t worry, there is good news.
I’m a dad.
It is such an incredible privilege to be a dad. Yesterday I was feeling really grumpy. Emma was playing in her room. She came downstairs and gave me a hug and said, “I just came down to hug you.” Then she went right back to her room.
How blessed is that?
I doubt that I will ever feel like the model parent who gets everything right. But I am a dad. No matter what else happens in my life, that is good news.
