Open Letter to a Youth Pastor
Dear Youth Pastor,
God bless you for what you do. I don’t know why you are in the position you are in. It may be that you have a passion for youth, it may be that this was the only ministry opportunity available. It doesn’t matter. You are there and you can make a difference. It doesn’t matter if you have a youth group of five of fifty, you have the opportunity to speak into the lives of young people.
As you may know, there are discussions about whether or not there should even be youth groups. The concern is the separation of the church into different age groups. While I understand the concerns, I also know that there are teens who you will meet who are there because of the youth group and who would never attend a Sunday morning service. That alone makes your youth group worth while.
One of the most important things you can do is to try and bridge the gap between the youth group and the rest of the congregation. It may be doing a youth-led worship service. This is great for giving the youth a new experience as well as showing the congregation what you are doing. When the congregation sees events like this, they are more likely to support you.
If I could do my youth ministry over again, I would have put more emphasis on discipleship. There is a battle among some youth workers about discipleship vs fun activities. I’m not sure why it has to be either/or. I would like to think that if Jesus was on earth today that he would be eating pizza with teenagers. But he would also be teaching them about the kingdom of God. Have fun with your youth. But also take time to teach them about the faith. Teach them the Bible. Use apologetics to give them reasons to believe. Demonstrate what it means to be a follower of Jesus.
As important as weekly youth events are, take time to get together one-on-one with the youth. Meet in public, but get together for a coffee or a burger or something. Even if you only talk about movies or sports or whatever, it shows that you are interested. I cannot emphasize enough how crucial this is.
This may not sound youth-focused but it is very important. Invest in your relationship with the lead pastor. Your pastor may never show up for youth group but that pastor is your best friend. When a parent or a board member is upset, it is the lead pastor that you need on your side. Work hard on that relationship and keep them informed.
This is going to be hard but you need to hear this. Not everyone in your group will stick with church. Probably not the majority. It is not your fault. Do not be discouraged. Just give what you can and leave it in the hands of God. It is possible that decades later they will remember something you said in a Bible study or in a coffee shop and they may return.
I am so glad that your are a youth pastor. You may feel this is a life-long calling or this may be a step along a journey of different types of ministry. Whatever the situation, use your gifts faithfully and make yourself available to God and the church.
God bless.
You know who I am, so I don’t need to put my name on this for personal reasons but I wanted you to know something I have never told you. Your job, as youth pastor many moons ago saved my life. I am one of those who didn’t stay with the Church but I am fairly certain that if I haven’t had met you when I did as a young teenager that I probably wouldn’t have turned into the woman that you married in the park not even two years ago. I was scared, lonely and didn’t know what life could have to offer as a teenager and you opened so many doors that allowed me to love myself and others. Maybe the Church and I didn’t work out full time, but it was the kindness that you showed me, the patience you had to teach me and the laughs you had to share with me that started to form who I am today as a woman. I thank you and every youth pastor out there from the bottom of the heart for showing me and other youths that there is so much good in this world, giving me someone, and something to believe in above myself and teaching me that life was a beautiful thing. You will never understand how much I appreciate and look up to you. I figured this post was as good as any to tell you how much you, as a person, as a youth pastor are appreciated, as I’m sure all youth pastors are even without realizing it nor the impact they have on the youth around them.
~K
Thank you for this comment. I really appreciate your encouragement. It means more than you will know.
I had several youth pastors, and some only treated me like my parents kid. Not one of their valued youth, and didn’t really try to build any sort of relationship with me personally, just hey you…uh….Lalonde girl, can you ask your dad if he can drive bus for such and such event. And I would be like uh I don’t think I am going so probably not. And it would be oh that’s fine he can come anyway. Well thanks 😛
The ones that impacted my life were the ones that got to know me. They might not have always set up a special coffee date, but at a youth event, they would sit beside me and talk to me. Not about my parents, friends, or boyfriend, but about me. When I was engaged I became more confident and actually became one of the people that would welcome new people in. The youth pastors new they could come to me for info about that person and get introduced as well.
Youth Pastors are sometimes under-rated but most people I know will mention a youth pastor as one of the most influential pastors in their lives.
One of my youth pastors actually married my hubby and I many moons later, when we had moved from the area. We went back and asked him. He was surprised and honored but he had impacted both of our lives by treating us like we were people that mattered, and he valued our opinons and help.
Thanks for sharing. Youth pastors are far from perfect but the good ones are really good. We also had a youth pastor marry Amanda and I!
Thank you for this. Although the job we do is not to get recognized, it is nice to hear it from time to time. we are not alone 🙂 thanks!
You are welcome and God bless your ministry!