If you ask any apologist what the key verse for apologetics is, they are likely to say 1 Peter 3:15.
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.
The favourite words in this passage are often “answer” and “reason.” In fact many apologetics organizations use one of these two words in their name.
But what about “gentleness and respect”?
Are our favourite apologists the ones that can destroy their opponents? Or are they the ones that treat their conversation partners with gentleness and respect?
I have a strong conviction that effective apologetics takes both the content and the presentation into account. It provides the answer but also the respect in equal measure.
This is true for apologetics conversations but it has another application.
There have been theological differences since the very beginning. How do we treat our brothers and sisters that we disagree with?
We may be fully convinced about certain interpretations of creation, eschatology, pneumatology, women in ministry, social justice, etc. And we may be baffled that anyone could have a different interpretation.
But what do we do with this?
Social media has only made this worse. There are times that I scroll through my Twitter feed and see the mocking and mean-spirited way that Christians speak of a brother and sister in Christ. The unloving actions of Christians are more damaging to faith than many of the arguments of atheism.
You may say to me, “But Steve, you don’t realize how wrong they are. I need to attack them with the full fury of my indignation!”
I want to ask you (and by this I include myself), how would non-Christians respond to the way that you treat those you disagree with? Would they find this Jesus we claim to serve to be attractive?
What if we could hold to our convictions and treat people with love and respect at the same time? If you think that is being weak, then hear the words of Jesus:
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:35)
That is pretty straight forward. If we cannot be passionate about the truth without being nasty toward other Christians, may be we need to keep our mouth (and computer) shut.
But this is not just a negative statement. Instead of just avoiding being nasty, how about the benefits of differing respectfully? How would non-Christians respond if they saw us disagreeing and yet treating each other with respect? Might that point them to Jesus?
What I am saying is that respect must be the style of our apologetics but treating all people (no matter how much we disagree with them) with respect might itself be an apologetic for the truth and attractiveness of Christianity.
“33 Little children, yet a little while I am with you. Ye shall seek me: and as I said unto the Jews, Whither I go, ye cannot come; so now I say to you.
34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
So much for love, excepting that of each other only. And this isn’t the only way to know who the disciples are (john 14), so it seems that current self-described Christians aren’t that at all.
“I want to ask you (and by this I include myself), how would non-Christians respond to the way that you treat those you disagree with? Would they find this Jesus we claim to serve to be attractive?”
The bible verses are why I find this Jesus you claim to serve to be unattractive. This JC isn’t all peace and light and Paul is much worse. Considering that this character kills all non-christians for simply daring not obeying it in Revelation, anyone who is humane wouldn’t follow such a being. The difference is that many non-christians know the bible better than the supposed believers and we don’t cherry pick what we want this character to have “really” said. We read it all.