Real Childlike Faith
It is frequently claimed that Christians should have an unquestioning faith since Jesus taught us to have child-like faith. We should bury our doubts and questions and just trust as a child would.
The problem is that I have yet to meet that child who does not question. Every child that I encounter is filled with questions. Sometimes the questions emerge out of awe. Why is the sky blue? Where do babies come from? Why does chocolate taste so good? Sometimes the questions emerge out of concern. Why did grandma die? Why is my friend sick? Why do some people go without food?
My spiritual life was completely transformed a number of years ago by an experience with my daughter. My daughter has autism and is on the severe end of the spectrum. She is considered nonverbal and so is limited in her means of communication.
The medication she was on had some serious side effects and so I brought her to the hospital lab for a blood test. She did not know what was happening and so she entered the room as cheerful as always. Then a number of people, including myself, held her down on a cold table. A nurse began to poke her with a needle, vainly trying to find a vein that would give its blood. This ordeal went on for forty-five minutes.
What changed me was the look on my daughter’s face. There was a look of betrayal. There was a look of doubt. For the first time, she was not so sure that I wanted what was best for her. I understood the reason for the suffering but there was no way that I could communicate it to her.
What did childlike faith mean to my daughter when she was in that room? What does childlike faith look like for me as I wrestle with the reason my children have autism? It is a questioning faith, a doubting faith, but it is also a long-term faith. Many years later, my daughter is still a “daddy’s girl” and I am still trusting God even with questions.
