What About Logan and Abby?
By far the most common question we have gotten about our move to Nova Scotia is about what is happening with Logan and Abby. For those who don’t know, they are our two oldest children, both have autism, and both live in group homes.
The first thing I want to say is that we have not forgotten about Logan and Abby. How our move would affect them was at the forefront of our decision making process. We have sometimes felt as if the questions were suggesting that we neglected to take them into account.
The answer to your question is that Logan and Abby will remain (for now) in Ontario. Their funding is provincial and they would have to start from scratch in Nova Scotia. Even if we brought them, they couldn’t even go on a waiting list for a home right away and we don’t know how long the waiting list is.
The truth is that they are in homes run by a very good agency with workers who love them very much. They are happy where they are and moving them would be very disruptive. This is especially true since it would likely not be from a group home to a group home but with a time with us.
That doesn’t mean that we won’t miss them. However, our visits are not what people might expect. When we would drive 1.5 hours to see them, they would often be ready to see us go after twenty minutes. They love to see us but also love to see us go.
We plan to return to Ontario regularly for visits. There has also been talk of bringing them out to Nova Scotia for visits. We will also be doing regularly Zoom calls, just as we have done for most of the pandemic.
I won’t say it is easy being in a different province from our children. We miss them very much. But they are also both young adults. Many of their neurotypical peers would be away from their parents. Just because they have autism, doesn’t mean that they can’t have independence from their parents.
This will be a time of learning for everyone as we try our best to maintain a good relationship with them. But for those concerned, their welfare is very much on our mind and we will do what we need to make sure they have everything they need.
