Thoughtful Reflections on Faith and Life
While we often hear about the people with autism who are the mild end of the spectrum, there are people who are on the more severe end. This video is a good picture of what it is like to have children on the severe end. These two boys are very much like my own two … Read More “Coping With Autism and Puberty” »
This past week, we had our two children with autism come for a visit. It was nice in that our other three children were away at camp and so things were a bit quieter in the house. It is difficult having our children living in a different city but there are good things. We get … Read More “Good News: Love My Kids” »
I want to make it clear that what I’m about to say is my experience and is not meant to describe the experience of any other autism parent. I understand that there is pressure from within the autism community to not see or speak of autism in a negative way. I hear those concerns, especially … Read More “The Hardest Thing About Autism” »
Autism can affect the way people are with food. One of those issues is pickiness, but that is a topic for another day. Children with autism can also get completely focused on food and desire to consume food in ways and amounts not considered appropriate. We just had a visit with our two children with … Read More “Autism and Food Issues” »
This is not the care for every autism parent, but I know that it is for many. In fact it has been for us. For a certain number of children with autism, there is a desire to run. Not to run laps for track but to just take off. Unfortunately, some of those children never … Read More “Autism Parent’s Worst Nightmare” »
What is the autism community? Obviously it includes all people with autism. But it also includes, at least in some definitions, the families of people with autism. How does the autism community feel about autism? It depends on who you ask. There would be plenty of parents that hate autism. They see it as a … Read More “Differences Within the Autism Community” »
It is common that when you meet new people, that you ask each other about family. I tell people that I have five children and they respond by asking about ages. When they hear that I have two teenagers, they often respond with common understandings of what teenagers are like. The truth is that my … Read More “The Assumption of “Normal”” »
A fairly recent story included a therapist (who happened to be black) who was trying to bring a man with autism back his home being accidentally shot by police. With all of the racial tension in the United States, it was later revealed that the police officer was trying to shoot the autistic man and … Read More “Autism Lives Matter” »
Well actually Veggie Tales didn’t really save my life. But is sure helped make my life as an autism dad easier. Our daughter, Abby, had some pretty bad sleep disruptions. For some reason, she just would wake up between 1 and 3 am. Every night. It was pretty rough. I finally found a way for … Read More “How Veggie Tales Saved My Life” »
I post a weekly Good News post. I started this a number of years ago during a dark time in my life. It was a way of looking past all the difficulties and finding something that I could be thankful for. It began as a daily discipline and eventually moved to a weekly post. First, … Read More “Autism Can Include Good News” »
While many more people are aware about autism, there are still many misconceptions. Here are six things that you need to know about autism. Autism is a spectrum. The full name is Autism Spectrum Disorder. This means that people with autism can be anywhere from awkwardly brilliant to intellectually disabled and all points in between. … Read More “6 Things You Need to Know About Autism” »
Is autism something that should be cured? That depends on who you ask. I’m sure you can find parents of children who have severe autism who are praying for a cure for autism. But you will also find people with autism who find the very question to be offensive. I’m in an interesting position as … Read More “Should Autism Be Cured?” »
Is it wrong to describe a person with autism as high or low functioning? What about being severe or mild on the spectrum? I have encountered a number of people recently who find all such labels to be offensive, even describing it as “ableism.” What do we need to know about these labels? First, we … Read More “High Functioning, Low Functioning, Severe, Mild and Labels for Autism” »
One of the things that gave us a hint that something was going on with our children was how they reacted when I would pick up the mail. Where we were living at the time, mail was not delivered to the door but rather to a community mailbox. Most of the time I would take … Read More “Autism and Routine” »
We find that some people have more sympathy for us because our children are on the severe end of the spectrum. And if there is one thing you should know about autism, it is that it is a spectrum. People with autism can range from being intellectually impaired to being intellectually gifted. Because of the … Read More “Mild Autism Can Be More Challenging Than Severe Autism” »
I won’t deny that there are difficulties that go along with being the parents of children with autism. We have had quite a few crisis moments over the years. The fact that both our children now live in a group home tells you that it is not easy. Sometimes we only hear the hard stories. … Read More “The Other Side of Being an Autism Dad” »
If you ever get a chance to meet me, you will find that I’m one of the easiest going people you will meet. I can think of perhaps a half dozen times in my 47 years where I was really angry. Let me tell you about one of them. This happened a number of years … Read More “One of My Angriest Moments” »
Even if parents have long been suspecting that their child might have autism, the moment that they receive an official diagnosis from the doctor is still traumatic. I can remember clearly the developmental pediatrician walking into the room with a box of tissues. How can you support a family as they receive a diagnosis? Here … Read More “5 Things That Parents Need When Their Child Receives an Autism Diagnosis” »
The chances are you have seen a family out somewhere and their child with autism was having a meltdown. You might think back and not find that memory. It is possible that you have seen this but did not know it at the time. You may simply have thought it was a “normal” family with … Read More “What to Do When You See an Autistic Child Having a Meltdown” »
I was speaking with one of our deacons this morning about the importance of prayer. We were saying that even if a person is not able to volunteer for a ministry, they can always pray. Prayer is one of the most important things that we do as a church. So how does prayer fit with … Read More “How to Pray for Families With Autism” »
There is an increasing amount of awareness and resources about ministering to children with autism. Of this, I’m grateful. In fact I hope that this blog and my book are contributing to this. In many cases, it is not difficult for churches to have a heart for children with autism. They can be pretty cute … Read More “Autistic Children Grow Up” »
The school year has just ended for our family and that means that all of their stuff from school comes home. My wife and I were going through our youngest daughter’s journal that was sent home and it was nice to get some insight into what was going on inside her. There were some neat … Read More “The Forgotten Siblings” »
My goal for this blog and my book of the same name is to help churches become more autism-friendly. When I write, I alternate between wearing my pastor hat and my autism dad hat. This post will be written with my dad hat. If I was looking for a church (which I’m not since I’m … Read More “What I Would Look For in an Autism-Friendly Church” »
This blog is aimed at helping churches support families who have autism. I know that one of the things that church members like to do is pass on resources. That is fine, as long as the family gives you permission. However, I want to give you a warning that people outside of the autism community … Read More “What You Need to Know About Autism Speaks” »
I recently had the privilege of baptizing my daughter. For context, I’m a Baptist pastor and so we baptize believers as opposed to infants. While Emma is our first to be baptized, she is the fourth of our five children. Our two oldest children have autism and are on the severe end of the spectrum. … Read More “Autism, Theology and Baptism” »
It has been a while since we have seen Logan and Abby at our house. Abby has missed a number of visits and our last visit was at their house. We have been looking forward to having them back but were not sure how it would go. The visit went far better than we could … Read More “Good News: Fun With the Kids” »
I had the opportunity to ask some people with autism about what they want the church to know. I’m thankful that a number of people responded. This is important because I can only speak for myself. I want people to hear other voices. I hope that you will hear these voices and have a greater … Read More “What People With Autism Want the Church to Know” »
Every parent of a child with autism is different, but there is some common ground I have found with many parents. If you wish to care for and minister to families with autism, there are five things you should know. Autism parents are exhausted physically. Many children with autism have sleep disturbances that affect the … Read More “5 Things You Should Know About Autism Parents” »
I am a pastor and a father of two children with autism. My children live in a group home in another city and so have not yet been to the church where I have recently started pastoring. However, we do have a young man with autism at our church who is at a similar end … Read More “The Highlight of My Time at Church” »
I have been talking a lot about things that churches should do to become autism-friendly. I like the positive approach. At the same time, there are things that should be avoided as well. None of these are new, but they are worth reminding of. Never use the word “retarded,” even in what you consider an … Read More “5 Things Autism-Friendly Churches Should Avoid” »
Today is our dog’s eighth birthday (he is exactly one week older than our youngest child). Why would I bother blogging about a dog? I’m glad you asked. Halo is not just any dog. We originally received Halo as service dog from the organization National Service Dogs. There was a lot of fundraising done for … Read More “Our Halo” »
People are more aware of autism in the sense that people know that it is out there and a lot of people have it. But there is still a lot of ignorance about what autism is and how to interact with people. 1. Autism is a spectrum. It is actually called Autism Spectrum Disorder. This … Read More “5 Things You Need to Know About Autism” »
I’m thankful to have Graham Ware share his story about being a relatively autism dad. Graham is the pastor of Centre Street Baptist Church and is also an army chaplain with Canadian Armed Forces reserves. In January of this year, my 4 year old daughter Karyss was diagnosed as on the Autism Spectrum. Recently … Read More “On Being an Autism Dad” »
When I think about autism awareness, two things come to mind. One is that I am pleased that autism awareness has increased significantly. In fact there are times when I feel guilty that there is so much emphasis on autism and not enough on other things such as Down Syndrome. Of course the answer is … Read More “Autism Awareness is Not Enough” »
One of the best ways to become more aware about autism to learn from good sources. La Trobe University in Australia has a tremendous amount of audio resources on almost every subject. I’m currently listening to my second course on Classics from La Trobe. One of the areas that they teach on is autism. Here … Read More “Audio Resources on Autism” »
I am encouraged by the number of pastors and churches that have talked to me about being autism-friendly. How can a church become more welcoming to families that have autism? Here are the ten commandments. Forgive the lack of King James language. 1. See people with autism not as a goal to be achieved or … Read More “10 Commandments for Being an Autism-Friendly Church” »
For some families, it is possible to care for their children with autism at home with just some additional support. In other cases, the behaviours that go along with autism make such a situation impossible and there is a need to send the child to a group home. The second scenario is our story. Twice. … Read More “The Guilt of Relief” »
I have just completed my first three months as the pastor of Queen Street Baptist Church. As I have been reflecting on this experience, I have come to realize that my appreciation for this church is not based on my pastoral role. There are some things about this church that I would love, even if … Read More “5 Things I Love About Queen Street Baptist Church” »
As much as I am interested in apologetics, discipleship and leadership, I am also interested in autism. One of the biggest influences on my life and ministry has been my two children with autism. They teach me so much about God and the things that really matter. Not only that, I recently discovered that I … Read More “My Top 5 Autism Posts” »
As I write this post, it is World Autism Awareness Day (April 2). Today at a church retreat, I had a conversation with another autism parent. We were discussing about how things were going with autism awareness. It certainly is much better. More people are aware of autism than ever before. This makes sense when … Read More “How is the Church Doing With Autism Awareness?” »
It is one thing to hear an expert talk about autism, it is another to hear a person with autism talk about autism. This is one of the reasons that people are drawn to Temple Grandin. She is able to give insight that is so helpful in having a sense of what autism is like. … Read More “Emergence: Labelled Autistic” »
I have been reading Temple Grandin’s Emergence: Labelled Autistic. In one of the chapters, Temple shares about an experience in chapel at the boarding school she attended as a child. I will share a portion here to give you some insight in the challenges of communicating spiritual truths to people with autism. “I am the … Read More “Faith, Autism and Taking Things Literally” »
I have been contacted by a number of pastors lately about autism. I’m impressed with pastors who are proactive in seeking information. The truth is that it is important know something about autism before a family with autism shows up at the church. As a pastor and as a father of two children with autism, … Read More “5 Things Pastors Need to Know About Autism” »
As regular readers of this blog know, we have two children with autism who live in a group home. We have Logan and Abby over for overnight visits every other week. It is really a highlight for our family. People often ask where they are on the spectrum. Both are on the severe end. Logan … Read More “Good News: My First Conversation With Abby” »
I have been really enjoying my time as the pastor of Queen St Baptist Church. They are an incredible congregation and I am looking forward to what God will do through this church. Something happened in church today that filled me with joy. There is a young man in the congregation who has autism. During … Read More “Good News: A Joyful Noise” »
We had another great visit with our children Logan and Abby this weekend. Both have autism and live in a group home an hour away. We try to have them over twice a month. Logan and Abby are great kids and they bless us so much. Abby, like Logan, is nonverbal and so has a very … Read More “Good News: Sign Language” »
What is it like to have autism? It is one thing to observe behaviours from the outside, it is another to get a firsthand account from someone about what it is like on the inside. One of the best books I have read on this is Pretending to Be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey. In … Read More “Pretending to Be Normal – Review” »
I am thankful that Autism Parenting Magazine has published an article of mine. My article is called “Understanding My Children with Autism in a New Way” and it is about how recent developments in my life have helped me to understand my children better. Aside from my article, Autism Parenting Magazine is a great resource … Read More “Article in Autism Parenting Magazine” »
Our two oldest children have autism and currently live together in a group home. For many years our life has been shaped by autism. But when first Abby and then later Logan went to live in a group home, our pace of life changed. It is not that life is easier, it is just different. … Read More “What Does an Autistic Christmas Look Like?” »
One of the first questions we received when we announced we were moving to St. Catharines was about Logan and Abby. Our two oldest children, who both have autism, live in a group home in Kitchener. Our intention has always been to move from weekly short visits to overnight visits twice a month. This weekend was … Read More “Good News: An Emotional Weekend” »
I was once told by a well meaning lady that it must be tough to have children that I cannot connect with emotionally. I was really taken off guard as that is not my experience. More conversation revealed that her only encounter with autism was a young neighbour who seemed completely unemotional and lost in … Read More “Autism and Emotion” »
Two of my children are considered nonverbal. I find that there is a lot of confusion as to what that means. Some think it means the same as being mute. In this post I hope to clarify what nonverbal means by looking at what it is not. Nonverbal does not mean that the child … Read More “What Nonverbal Does Not Mean” »
We have two children with autism, both on the severe side, both considered nonverbal. They live in a group home together with two other children. We try to have them over for a visit every week. This is what an average visit looks like. I show up at the group home. Abby is usually … Read More “What a Visit With Our Children With Autism Looks Like” »
Far more than my love for comics is my love for family. Two of my five children have autism. Both of them live in a group home and come home for visits every week. One of the highlights for me is the interest that my oldest son shows for comics. He is not open to … Read More “Comic Books and Autism” »
I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 46. Why would I do such a thing at my advanced age? My doctor didn’t suggest it. It was all my idea. In addition, it is not as if there are programs or treatments (not that I would want them). Since I do get asked this … Read More “5 Reasons I am Glad I Have an Autism Diagnosis” »
Every Sunday I publish a good news post, some reflection of a good thing that happened to keep me in the spirit of thankfulness. I did that yesterday. But something happened today that I can’t wait until Sunday to talk about. Yesterday we had our Thanksgiving dinner. Amanda cooked a delicious turkey with all the things … Read More “Good News: Bonus Edition” »
One of the most disturbing things that I have encountered recently has been the creation of a Facebook page, “Families Against Autistic Shooters.” To find out background on this situation, read this article. I really do not know why anyone would do such a thing. Were they really afraid of people with autism? Was it … Read More “Vilifying People With Autism” »
I have heard from some people with autism that faith can be difficult. I have also heard from parents concerned about how to explain Christian faith to their child with autism. I have blogged previously about autism and faith. What I would like to do now is just talk about my own experience. How can … Read More “My Autism and My Faith” »
As I became more involved in autism awareness, I quickly noticed that there was some sensitivity toward phrasing. While many will talk about autistic people, the preferred wording is a person with autism. It is more politically correct. I am not super-worried about being politically correct. If you communicate in any way, you will offend … Read More “An Autistic Person or a Person With Autism?” »
If you are looking for training in autism studies, there are a number of options. One is to study at the University of Kent in the UK. They have a few programs, that seem to include both distance and some attendance. If you are interested in what they offer (which includes an MA), you can … Read More “Autism Studies (Distance Learning)” »
One of the reasons that some people are surprised by my autism diagnosis is my history of Christian ministry. I have worked as a pastor, chaplain and Bible teacher. All of those roles require social interaction. Since autism affects social interaction, I shouldn’t be able to do those things. Except I did and continue to … Read More “Can I Be a Pastor and Autistic?” »
I have had a number of people find it hard to believe that I have been diagnosed with autism when I am so normal. There are two errors in this thinking. One is a misunderstanding of autism and the other is that I am normal. Close friends can see the latter more clearly. What people … Read More “How Can I Have Autism When I am So Normal?” »
I was giving great thought to what I should share for my weekly good news post. Our family is still going through a difficult time. I am still in the process of finding a full-time job. The end of August to the beginning of September is our tightest time. What could possibly be good? Sundays … Read More “Got My Good News!” »
I can only speak for myself, although I have heard of similar stories from other people with autism. I can sometimes come across as unfriendly. I seem eager to end the conversation and move on. Why don’t I like people? I like people just fine and I’m not unfriendly. What is difficult for me is … Read More “I’m Not Unfriendly, I Have Autism” »
Two years ago, I began writing regular good news posts on my blog. They started as daily posts and eventually moved to weekly posts. The original context was that I was going through a dark time. Our son was needing to go into a group home (our second child to go into a group home) … Read More “Trying to Find Good News” »
One of the most common questions I get is about how people with autism understand faith. At first I tried to guess from my children with autism, which is hard because they are both nonverbal. Now that I have been diagnosed with autism myself, I have a bit more insight. Here are five things to … Read More “5 Things You Need to Know About Faith and Autism” »
